


I Climb to Fall...

by alison



Series: I Feel So Useless. Do You? [1]
Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Dirty Talk, M/M, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 01:43:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alison/pseuds/alison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is married. His husband's name is not Louis.</p><p>Louis gives a blowjob to an ice lolly, then to Nick. Then some sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Climb to Fall...

**Author's Note:**

> Wherever there is a "-" between paragraphs, there is a change in POV.
> 
> (Many thanks to [Kay](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ImNotOhKay/pseuds/ImNotOhKay) as always for test reading.)

Louis' knees are red and covered in tiny bits of dried blood where they scraped against the pavement of that back alley the day before. As he rolls his eyes to himself and peels off his shorts, he curses the day Nick Grimshaw came into his life.

He slips into his baggiest pair of jeans, the ones he's worn about a hundred times and have loosened up enough that they won't hug his knees too closely, because he's still sore and every rub of denim across the wounded skin sends a jolt of pain through him. The pain is the least of his worries, though. The pain reminds him of the pleasure and, well, he can't have that, not when he's heading to his summer job at the ice cream parlour near campus. He can't be thinking these things as he's scooping chocolate swirl for parents and their children.

When he's finally dressed and ready to go, his phone buzzes with a text and he opens it as he leaves his flat.

_you look so good on your knees baby_

Louis stops in his tracks, staring at the message and feels his skin flush.

Fuck.

It's not supposed to be like this, he thinks. It's not supposed to be Nick and it's not supposed to be him. It's not supposed to be skin flushing and this weird feeling in his lower stomach (which he really hopes is just the beginning of an erection and not the other kind of weird stomach feeling because that would be incalculably worse).

_shut up_

It's his only response before he switches his phone to silent and shoves it into his bag, shaking his head of the fog clouding his thoughts. Maybe he'll be able to say no next time. Maybe after today the only traces of Nick in his life will be the scars on his knees and the thoughts in his mind as he gets himself off at night. Maybe he'll start thinking with his brain instead of his dick.

Then again, probably not.

 

When Louis gets out of work, he waits until he's on the bus to check his phone and he finds exactly what he was expecting. Another message from Nick.

_look good with me in your mouth, good when you're choking on me. look good with tears in your eyes and your hand on your cock. so fucking good._

He whimpers a little and shoves the phone into his pocket, dropping his head into his hands, palms rubbing at his eyes.

“Fuck,” he whispers to no one in particular. “Fuck fuck fucking fuck.”

 

_i'm in your neighborhood, mind if I stop in? i have a treat for you_

It's a slightly strange text, but Louis' getting used to strange when it comes to Nick. It's getting harder to surprise Louis because they always end the same, these random texts. They end with scraped knees and fingertip-shaped bruises on his shoulders.

As he types out his response, he thinks he means to say that he's busy or that he doesn't want company tonight, or that maybe Nick should spend time with his husband instead, but that's not quite what comes out.

_better be good_

He drops his phone onto the couch and pushes his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh, wishing he had more willpower and trying to figure out why it is that he can never seem to say no to Nick.

 

When he shows up at Louis' door, Nick is holding up a cherry ice lolly and grinning pompously. Louis glares and rips the frozen treat from his hand, turning his back to Nick and walking into the flat. He rips off the wrapper and bites a little piece off the tip as he hears Nick close the door and walk up behind him.

“You're doing it all wrong,” he says quietly, pressing himself up behind Louis. “Supposed to lick it, not bite it.”

His arms wrap around Louis' torso and his lips drop to Louis' neck and he hates that he loves this feeling so much.

“Are you trying to improve my technique?” Louis asks sourly, or as sourly as his voice will come out while Nick's lips are mouthing at the most sensitive spots of his neck.

“Mmm no, of course not. Your technique is already perfect.”

Louis hesitates before putting the lolly back into his mouth and he wants to bite down just to spite Nick, but he finds himself licking at the cold sweetness anyway.

He feels Nick smile against his skin before moving around until they're standing face to face and his eyes are dark as Louis wraps his lips around the lolly, sucking on the tip of it.

“Little deeper,” Nick says quietly, lifting his hand to cover Louis' on the lolly stick. He pushes gently and Louis lets it into his mouth until it nudges his throat and he lets out a little noise around the intrusion. Nick bites his lip as he eases up on the pressure, letting the lolly slide over his lips as he pulls it out a bit.

“Jesus. You're fucking beautiful, you know that? Fucking gorgeous with your lips stained red and your mouth all full like this.”

Louis wonders how it got to be like this. He's always been the dominant one in relationships - not that this is a relationship – and he's always been the one to set the pace. But for whatever reason, he always feels himself slip into this submissive role around Nick. He loves taking whatever Nick gives him and it's just all so strange.

He mumbles “mhmm” around the ice and feels his eyelids droop as Nick leans in to press his lips against Louis' collarbone.

“Can I see you on your knees, baby?”

And Louis doesn't know how to say no, so he drops to his knees, wincing as he feels the leftover pain of the bruises there, and looks up at Nick as he starts moving the lolly over his lips, slow thrusts into his mouth.

-

Nick looks down at the sight before him and his knees almost give out. Louis' lips are red and glistening with syrupy wetness and he's fucking his own mouth with a fucking ice lolly and it ranks as one of the hottest things he's ever witnessed.

“Good,” he says, his voice a little uneven as he nods to himself. “Good job.”

Louis pulls the lolly out of his mouth to lick up the side before pushing it back between his lips, all without breaking eye contact. Nick can see his tongue swirling around the tip of it even though Louis' lips are closed around it, can see the movement behind his cheeks.

Without saying a word, Nick unzips his jeans and pulls his already hard cock out, stroking himself slowly as Louis' eyes drop for just a moment before returning to Nick's. As if trying to prove something, Louis takes the lolly deep into his mouth, gagging just a bit around it as it slides into his throat, before he pulls it out and licks the sides again.

“Such a good mouth, you know that? Such pretty lips.”

Louis nods a little, cheeks hollowing as he sucks down, swallowing the melting liquid.

“Do you like your treat? Hmm?” Nick asks as he pulls on his cock, aching to get between those lips.

Louis nods eagerly and mumbles “mhmm” again as he pulls off the lolly to breathe, his tongue licking out at it so Nick can see that it's stained bright red, his whole mouth is.

“Yeah? You want another treat, baby?” He asks, barely able to keep his voice from cracking, fighting to sound cool and calm.

Louis nods again, his eyebrows scrunched pitifully like he's begging for it. Nick bites back a moan and drops his unoccupied hand below Louis chin, lifting it up. Louis leans forward, mouth open, but Nick pulls back against every instinct in his body.

“Manners, love. Have to say please.”

Louis pouts and grits his teeth at the same time and it's such a Louis thing to do, Nick thinks.

“ _Please_.”

“But you didn't even finish your first treat,” he says, pulling the slowly melting lolly out of Louis' hand. “Just a little more and I'll give it to you, okay? Open up.”

Louis immediately opens his mouth and Nick slides the ice against Louis' tongue, one hand working his own cock and one fucking the lolly into Louis' mouth. It only lasts for about thirty seconds before Nick is leaking and he can't hold back anymore.

He steps forward and simultaneously pulls the lolly out and pushes his dick into Louis' mouth. For a moment he shivers at the coldness around his cock, but then he sighs contentedly because Louis' perfect red lips are finally wrapped around him. It only takes Louis a second to adjust to the bigger intrusion before his tongue is licking up his length as Nick buries himself behind his lips.

“Good,” Nick mutters, nodding down at the younger boy. “Fuck, so good.”

Louis takes him deep, sucking firmly around him and Nick's eyes shut for a moment as he works his hips gently against the mouth around him, his hand holding Louis' head, fingers threaded into his hair. But then he remembers the view waiting for him and he pries his eyelids open, taking it in all over again. And Louis really does look amazing on his knees. It's breathtaking, actually.

“So eager for it, aren't you?” Nick murmurs, watching Louis move his whole body as he sucks, writhing as he bobs up and down like he's working hard to win a prize. Nick groans deep in his throat, feeling light-headed.

“Fuck, baby, you want me to come in your mouth? Wanna taste?”

Louis nods as his tongue flicks around the tip of Nick's cock and Nick can feel it building, needs to give the boy what he wants.

“Yeah, I'll let you taste,” he mutters, nodding to himself. “Come all over that pretty little tongue, yeah? Doing such a good job, just suck it really good for me, almost there.”

Louis seems to double his efforts, tightening his lips around Nick and Nick moans, throwing his head back as Louis' tongue slithers up the underside of his cock and then he's there. He whips his head forward again to look down as he comes hard into Louis' mouth, watches through fuzzy vision as Louis sucks him dry, swallowing him down like he did with the juice from the lolly.

Everything's a little blurry after he comes, but he sees Louis fall back, his bum resting on his calves. He licks his lips with his still-red tongue and Nick takes a minute to gather himself, finding his breath as his cock softens and his vision clears.

Louis hasn't moved by the time Nick has tucked himself back into his pants and zipped up his jeans. He can see the bulge in Louis' trousers and he knows he can't just leave, so he bends down and lifts him easily. Louis' legs wrap around Nick's waist, his arms around his neck and he speaks quietly and entirely unconvincingly.

“Just go home” he says as his fingers grip into the material of Nick's shirt. “Leave me alone.”

Nick smacks his bum lightly as he walks them into Louis' bedroom where he drops him onto the bed on his back.

Louis lands sprawled out and Nick climbs over him to keep him in that position. His fingers work at Louis' zipper and, within seconds, he has his trousers completely off. Next, he slips off Louis' boxer briefs, freeing his hard cock, as Louis removes his own shirt.

Louis looks up expectantly, but Nick smirks, running his hands up the younger boy's thighs.

“Touch yourself for me,” he commands gently with a nod of his head.

Louis' eyebrows furrow with frustration but he quickly drops his hand to his erection, gripping himself.

“Wanna see what you do when you're alone, when I can't be here,” Nick mutters, fingers gliding lightly, slowly up his inner thighs before moving down again.

Louis whines as he tugs on his cock and Nick sees precome leaking from the tip. He wants so badly to lick it but he knows he won't stop at one lick and, even more than he wants Louis' cock on his tongue, he wants to see Louis get himself off. Without his help.

“Nick,” Louis whines desperately, his breath coming heavily.

“Doing so well, babe, keep going,” Nick encourages quietly, running his fingertips down Louis' arm, the arm that's moving furiously as he chases his own orgasm.

“Please,” he begs, but his eyes are closed tight.

“Please what, love?”

“Touch me, fuck, please,” Louis says, opening his eyes and now Nick can see the begging there, too.

“Next time,” Nick nods. “Next time I'll touch you, let you fuck my mouth, okay?”

Louis moans pitifully and Nick can see tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. He pulls himself up and kisses there, feeling the tears wet against his dry lips.

“Come on, baby, want to see you come all over your hand. You're alright. Just let it go. Let me see you.”

He kisses Louis' lips lightly and feels him nod underneath him. Nick smiles and nods himself, moving back down between Louis' legs and watching, gripping his fingers into Louis' thighs.

“That's it, almost there.”

He watches as Louis arches into his hand, choked moans escaping him and within seconds, he's coming, shooting all over his stomach and Nick smiles as Louis groans his name.

Before Louis' even finished, Nick dips his head down to suck the tip of his cock into his mouth and tastes the last of his release as Louis gasps, gripping onto his shoulder. He sucks on the tip until Louis' writhing beneath him, overly sensitive and panting at the sensation of Nick's tongue licking at his slit.

And it doesn't go unnoticed that Louis still doesn't push him away, even now, and it's a realization that makes Nick pop off with a self-satisfied smile as Louis finally relaxes under him.

He gives Louis a moment before he drops beside him, dragging his fingertips lightly against Louis' jaw as he tries to push back time, tries to hold onto this moment. Because soon he'll have to leave. He'll have to go back home and the thought leaves him feeling cold.

-

Louis' mind is still vaguely fuzzy when he finally looks over at Nick and pushes him hard on the shoulder.

“You prick,” he spits out before sitting up with the goal of finding his pants.

He's pulled back down, though, an arm wrapped around his middle, pulling his back against Nick's front until they're spooning, Louis' bare back pressed into Nick's clothed front.

“Hey,” Nick says softly. “Not yet. Don't get dressed yet.”

His lips fall to Louis' bare shoulder, kissing along the skin and Louis throws an elbow back gently into his ribs.

“You have to go home and you know it.”

But he makes no other attempt to move, letting Nick's hand move to his chest, rubbing down over his stomach, grazing the skin with his palm.

He doesn't ask much about Nick's home life, but he wonders. He wonders if Nick's husband is a bad person or if Nick is. Or if they both are or if neither is. He wonders if they still fuck. He wonders if Nick still loves him. These are questions he doesn't ask because he knows Nick doesn't really want to talk about the details of it with him. And as much as Louis hates this thing they're doing, he loves it, too, and he doesn't want to spoil it.

“You'd _better_ let me fuck your mouth next time,” he says grumpily.

Nick smiles and hums into Louis' shoulder and it vibrates under his skin, straight into his chest.

“Of course, love, if that's what you want.” He pulls his head up to kiss Louis' neck and then his ear, letting his lips rest there. “And then I'm gonna fuck you, okay? Fuck you so good, make you scream. Make you feel it deep inside.”

Louis shivers at his words because they've never done that and he thought maybe Nick had a rule about it or something; that they could fuck around but he wouldn't actually fuck Louis. And he's ashamed, but he feels so pleased knowing Nick wants to give that to him.

“Yeah?” he asks a little breathlessly.

“That okay? You want my cock in that tight little arse? I'll make it so good for you, I promise.” His lips are back at Louis' shoulder, kissing into the skin. “Make you feel so good,” he mumbles quietly.

Louis groans lowly and, even though he just came a few minutes before, he feels his cock stir and he wills the feeling away. Nick must be feeling the same way because soon he's rocking slowly against Louis' bare arse and Louis can feel that he's getting hard under his trousers.

“Stop,” he whispers. “You have to go home, remember? Remember the part where you're married?”

Nick stalls his movements, but he holds Louis closer, lifting his chin to rest on Louis' shoulder.

“I haven't forgotten.”

“Could've fooled me,” Louis says and he makes to get up again, but Nick pulls him back again and it's a lovely little metaphor for this thing between them, Louis thinks. He makes a halfhearted attempt to get away and Nick pulls him back easily, so easily it's shameful.

“Why are you being like this, babe?” Nick asks, his voice gentle. “I know you don't want me to promise to leave him, so what do you want?”

Louis hesitates, thinking. Because he doesn't know. He doesn't know what he wants. He knows he doesn't want promises and commitment and rings and babies. He doesn't want any of that, especially not with Nick. But he wants something. He just can't put his finger on it.

“I don't know,” he sighs. “I guess I just want you to be able to stay the night every once in a while.”

It's embarrassing to admit, but maybe that's all he really needs. Just that little thing to make Louis feel less like a cheap fuck. Even if he gets off on feeling like Nick's cheap fuck.

“Want me to stay now? Stay all night?”

Louis flips over to look into Nick's eyes and sees that he's serious, sees that he wants it, too.

“You can't. Your husband-”

“He'll be home late tonight. And I can make something up, fuck, it doesn't matter.”

Louis hates being put in the position of potentially making or breaking a marriage, but he figures it's Nick's decision to make. If Nick wants to take the risk, it's not Louis' job to stop him.

He pulls Nick in and presses their lips together in a long kiss, lips parting immediately as their tongues taste each other, teeth biting lips gently. Louis whimpers softly into the kiss because he feels the weird stomach feeling again and he's pretty sure it's not just the beginning of an erection this time, which is really disastrously bad. It's so completely bad, but he throws that thought aside to deal with tomorrow when Nick's tongue isn't sliding against his.

When they pull out of the kiss, Louis looks up at Nick and speaks softly.

“Fuck me tonight?”

Nick's eyes flicker and he exhales quickly like he just got punched in the stomach, but then it's gone and he nods, placing another chaste kiss to Louis' lips.

“Yeah, I'll fuck you tonight, yeah, _shit_ ,” he mutters, pulling back to look into Louis' eyes intensely. “Been thinking about it since I first met you, that first day. Think about it in the shower and have a wank, imagining sinking into that amazing arse. Think about it at work and in the car... all the time.”

“And here I thought you were thinking about me on my knees,” Louis says with a smile, glancing down at his bruised knees.

Nick's eyes follow his and he makes a pained sound deep in his throat.

“Shit, sorry about that. I just got too excited. Always so excited around you.”

Before Louis can respond, Nick pushes him onto his back and kisses him lightly before moving his lips down Louis' chest, dropping light kisses to the skin as he crawls down Louis' body. He kisses down his stomach, kisses his hip, and places a light kiss to Louis' still mostly soft cock, which makes it stir to life again, but then he's still moving down, not stopping until he reaches Louis' knees. He kisses the bruised skin there lightly, looking up into Louis' eyes.

“Forgive me?” He asks, switching to the other leg and kissing there as well.

“Yeah, forgive you,” Louis nods because of course he does. He always does.

Then Nick kisses a trail up Louis' inner thigh and stops at his cock, kissing it again. Louis' still sensitive from his orgasm, but Nick's lips feel so good, he can't help but push into it. The lips move again, though, and not in the direction Louis' expecting. His legs are spread open wide, hands pushing up under his knees, and then Louis feels Nick's lips against his hole and he moans loudly at the surprising sensation.

“Fuck,” he breathes as Nick's tongue flicks out, sending a shiver through Louis' body.

“So good for me,” Nick mumbles, his tongue licking tentative circles around Louis' hole. “Taste so good.”

Louis' legs shake as Nick focuses his licks to Louis' entrance, dipping inside just a bit, wiggling his tongue in before removing it just as quickly.

“Tell me how it feels,” Nick says before diving back in, lips and tongue moving against the sensitive skin.

And Louis wonders how to answer that question because 'good' isn't sufficient. Neither is 'confused' or 'afraid', not if he chooses to address the array of things he's feeling. So he chooses honesty, too focused on Nick's tongue to think any more.

“I don't know, just don't stop, please don't stop,” he babbles as Nick presses a light kiss to his arsehole, following it with a swipe of the tongue.

And Nick doesn't stop, not until Louis' shaking on the brink of orgasm. Only then does he stop, moving quickly up to kiss into Louis' mouth, the tongue that was just inside his arse pushing up against his own.

-

Nick kisses Louis heavily, and it's not a thing they do a lot, but it always makes Nick go a little weak when it happens. Louis is a good kisser; his tongue works as well against Nick's tongue as it does against his cock. His lips feel as good here as they do when they're sliding down his length, wrapping around him.

The kiss goes on for ages, breaking momentarily as Nick removes articles of clothing one at a time until he's naked, grinding slowly against Louis and Louis is whimpering into the kiss, chest heaving.

“Do you have lube and a condom around here?” Nick asks, pulling away from the kiss, his hard cock still dragging against Louis'.

Louis points weakly to a shelf across the room, his face flushed, and Nick kisses him one more time before getting up to retrieve the items.

Lube and condom in hand, he comes back to the bed, instructing Louis to spread his legs as he fiddles with the cap on the lube. When he looks up, he sees Louis spread out wide, his pink cock hard against his stomach, hands fisted into the sheets. He stops suddenly, the wind knocked out of him as he takes in the sight of it.

"Oh, babe," he whispers, his voice filled with wonder. "Look at you. God."

He numbly drops onto the bed on his knees between Louis' spread legs and his eyes drag up Louis' body to his pleading eyes.

"Want it so bad, don't you? Need me to fill you up."

Louis whines beneath him, nodding as Nick coats his fingers with the lube.

"Fuck, yeah, gonna make this part quick so I can get my cock in you, okay?"

Louis nods again, apparently unable to find his words at the moment. Nick drops a slick finger to Louis' exposed hole, teasing the rim with a light touch to draw the words out of Louis' pretty little mouth. Finally, Louis chokes it out.

"Please, Nick, fuck," he rasps, sounding desperate.

Nick smiles and nods, pushing the finger deep inside in one go.

"Good boy."

He moves the finger in and out a few times before squeezing in a second, watching as Louis squirms into it and Nick runs his free hand across Louis' tummy, comforting strokes over the skin as his fingers shove in, opening him up.

"Like that, huh? Want a third? Stretch you out really well?"

Nick's wasting no time but he wasn't kidding when he said he was going to make it quick. His cock is aching and he needs it himself, needs to feel Louis around him.

"Yeah, more," Louis breathes.

Nick obliges, pushing in a third finger and Louis arches his back at it, moaning loudly at the feeling.

"Love those noises, baby. Sound so good."

He bends to kiss Louis' stomach next to where his hand is still rubbing lightly, keeping him tethered.

It's not long before Louis' whimpering, pushing back against Nick as much as he can.

"Ready for my cock, love?"

Louis nods, breathing in sharply as Nick curls his fingers just a touch.

"Yeah? Need it so bad, don't you? Been waiting so long, thinking about me fucking you, haven't you?"

"Yeah," Louis whines, already sounding a bit destroyed just from Nick's fingers.

"Okay, don't worry, baby," he says as he brushes Louis' prostate once more, making him shake, before he pulls his fingers out. "Gonna fill you up now, make you feel so good."

As Nick applies a condom, Louis slips a hand over his cock, rubbing his open palm against it. When Nick looks up to see it, he shakes his head disapprovingly, pushing the hand away.

"Hands on the bed please, babe," he says softly but firmly. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

Louis whimpers but does as he's told, lowering the offending hand back down to grip the sheet next to him.

Once Nick has himself lubed up, he moves to line up, glancing up at the pink face above him. And he stares into that beautiful face, taking in the moment.

"Fuck, Louis. Shit," he says, pausing to rub his hands up Louis' thighs. "I've had dreams about this, you know?"

Louis stills, too, gazing up into Nick's eyes and for a moment it's not about the sex. For a moment, just a moment, it's more than that. And maybe it's always more than that with Louis, maybe it's always something else wrapped up in the sex, disguised as just flesh and lips and bruised knees. Maybe Nick ignores what it really is because that's too much to deal with.

This... this he can deal with, the part where he's pushing into Louis' arse, his cock wrapped up in Louis' tightness. He can deal with the pleasure, the heat as he bottoms out, then pulls back slowly, feeling Louis' muscles around him with every inch of movement.

“Louis,” Nick groans, sliding in and out. “God, you feel good.”

Louis whimpers back, pushing his head back into the pillow.

“Such a tight arse,” he mumbles, dropping his head as he quickens his thrusts, letting the feeling flood his senses.

“Nick,” Louis moans, his voice high-pitched and tight as Nick grinds against Louis' arse before pulling back and pushing in deep again.

Louis reaches down between them to grip his cock, tugging on it as Nick thrusts into him. Nick looks down and he almost feels bad for doing it, but he pulls Louis' hand away, pushing both of his hands up and pinning them to the bed above Louis' head.

“Nick, please,” Louis whines, spreading his legs a little wider. “Need to come.”

Nick keeps his pace, hips working against Louis' arse and he tries to stay calm, tries not to let the feeling of Louis around him consume him yet.

“So come,” he says lowly.

“I- I can't,” Louis says pitifully, his voice strained, and Nick can see the tears building in his eyes as the boy wriggles desperately beneath him, searching for friction. “Please,” he whimpers, dragging the word out.

Nick can barely breathe at the sight of it, at the feeling, and he lowers his body a bit so his lower abdomen just barely rubs against Louis' balls between them with each thrust, his hands still pressing Louis' wrists into the bed above him.

“You can, baby, come on,” Nick encourages, his voice a bit uneven and hoarse as he pushes back his own orgasm.

A few more thrusts and Nick can feel Louis' legs start to shake at his sides, his whole body trembling as he throws his head back, tear tracks streaking his cheeks.

“Oh my god,” Louis gasps, sounding overwhelmed and completely wrecked and Nick thrusts harder into him, wants to make sure he feels it.

Then Louis' coming between them and Nick can feel it splash against his stomach. Louis shudders through it, nails digging into the backs of Nick's hands, and his face looks so beautiful, screwed up in pleasure, tears drying on his skin.

“Such a good boy, so good, so fucking good,” Nick rambles as he feels himself near the edge himself, dropping his head close to Louis', watching as cloudy eyes open and fix on his own.

Louis pulls his head up to latch his lips onto Nick's and Nick happily pushes into it, kissing him desperately as he feels his release build. He doesn't pull away from the kiss until it hits him and he drops his forehead onto Louis' chest, choked moans escaping his throat as he empties himself.

Once he can move, he releases Louis' wrists and falls next to him on the bed. Discarding the condom, he drops his head back, catching his breath. He feels boneless, like he's been drugged, but in a good way.

Next to him, Louis is still breathing heavily and Nick can feel that he's trembling, so he pushes himself onto his side to see an overwhelmed expression on Louis' face, like he's trying to figure out a difficult maths problem.

“I've never... That's never happened,” he breathes shakily, looking into Nick's eyes.

Nick takes in the drying tears lining Louis' face and thinks he looks beautiful, far too beautiful, too beautiful to be real.

“Feel good?” he asks, dragging a hand up to thumb at the moisture on Louis' cheeks.

“Amazing,” Louis replies as his eyelids drop.

“Love making you feel good. More than anything, you know?”

Louis smiles and Nick loves seeing him like this, all fucked out and soft like a happy little teddy. He leans back to click off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness before he turns back, gathering his boy up in his arms.

Louis sighs happily, curling into Nick's body and Nick feels a thumb at the corner of his mouth before soft lips are covering his, kissing him slowly. It feels wonderful, Louis' naked body in his arms, skin pressing against his own, and their mouths pressed together.

There's no sex to disguise this now, whatever this is. They're soft and they're tired and Nick still feels like he can't really breathe at the feeling of Louis' skin, feels like he wants hide from the world and stay here in Louis' bed as long as possible.

He grazes his fingers down Louis' back, tracing patterns into the skin just above his bum before pushing them down further, fingertips moving lightly over the curve of his arse. In return, Louis shudders, and Nick's fairly sure it's tickling him but he doesn't squirm away from the touch.

“We should do this staying the night thing more often,” he says softly in the darkness as Louis drops his head onto Nick's chest.

“Not sure how that'll work out,” Louis says, with no bitterness left in his voice. “But maybe every once in a while.”

“Yeah,” Nick whispers, his fingers still moving across Louis' soft skin. “Maybe.”

When Louis' nearly asleep, breath warm and even against Nick's chest, Nick kisses the top of his head and Louis moves just a tiny bit, a quick hum pushed out of his throat.

And he thinks maybe he would promise Louis if Louis ever asked him to. Because right now he feels like he'd do anything for him, anything to keep him. But then he wonders if it would ruin everything. He wonders if the spark between them is so strong because it's so imperfect, so wrong.

And he thinks it's probably better this way.


End file.
